Donnerstag, Juni 29, 2006

The letter H

Hotels I have worked in
Honey I call my love
Hungry for some free time
to Hang out away from here
Hardly just beginning
Humming a Happy tune
Harmony in all things

Hugely indebted to you

want a letter? leave a comment!

Mittwoch, Juni 28, 2006

10 things I want to do this summer

- run through the sprinkler check! on my bike on the way to work this morning

- make s'mores

- wish on a shooting star

- pack a picnic and go paint the Monet-like bridge on Princes Island

- slow dance barefoot in the moonlight

- eat fruit fresh off a tree in the Okanogan

- dip my toes in the Pacific ocean

- jump on *someone elses* trampoline

- take my nephews to the Zoo booked! For July 4th, a surprise day off

- use up all my bubble juice

Montag, Juni 26, 2006

mountain goats and motorbikes

I’m sitting in a sunny spot on my yoga mat at the joining of two creeks, which run between two rocky bluffs. I have a little picnic, my meditation book, my journal and my thoughts. Perched atop one of the bluffs, directly in my line of sight, is a mountain goat. She’s been standing there for quite some time, staring down at me. On my way up the path on my search for a quiet spot, a couple of small rocks clattered down in front of me from above. Looking up, I see the inquisitive face of another goat, a young one (his antlers a couple of inches long). Left of him stood another, younger one, his antlers just little nubs.

I believe in the Native American tradition that every one of us has an animal spirit guide, and I have the feeling that mine has just been revealed to me. It makes sense, when I think about it- high energy, agile, curious, quick on their feet survivalists. Sounds very familiar. I had a deep knowing that spirit would lead me here this afternoon, to this very spot next to this creek, nestled at the back of K Country. The result of a decision made yesterday at the funeral for my colleague who passed away in a motorcycle accident earlier this week.

My boyfriend (who also knew my colleague through mutual motorcycling friends) and I had been planning to head out of town, direction west right after the service. The car was packed and ready to go. But then he learned of the ride that was going to take place as a memorial to Wade, past the place on the road where the accident occurred. It was clear to me by the look in his eyes that he needed to be a part of it. And as fast as you can say ‘plans change’, we were off, me to pick Jules up to make my solo journey and he to get his bike and meet up with the boys.

After a brief re-pack, car wash, and phone call to my massage therapist and hostess extraordinaire, I made my way out of town. My mind was heavy sorting the events of the day so far, sifting through and trying to make sense the emotionally charged days leading up to now. At the exact moment that I slow down to stop at the last set of lights on the west edge of the city, I think ‘wouldn’t it be amazing to see the guys ride by’, I turn my head to the right and six or seven striking racing bikes come into view. They merge in a solemn procession onto the highway and my light turns green.

It feels as though the oxygen has suddenly been sucked out of my lungs and my whole leg trembles as I press my right foot down on the accelerator. I watch in this breathless, quivering state as they glide along the curves and dips of the road, and take the Old Banff Coach Road exit in beautiful unison. I pass directly under the overpass as they cross above it, and in a burst of emotion I lay on the horn and give a wave out the sunroof.

It was a moving and fitting tribute to a man who lived his life passionately, expertly and without compromise or regret.

As his best friend recounted, his body hunched over the podium in the packed memorial hall, his voice cracking with emotion, Wade wouldn’t have wanted any of us not to live our lives to the absolute fullest, squeezing every drop of enjoyment out of it, leaping at every challenge or opportunity that presented itself. Honouring and being true to our authentic selves.

This in mind, I continue my drive out to the Rockies, enjoying the smooth, powerful German engineering of my Jules, awestruck by the awesome panoramic views of the mountains unfolding in front of me. I drink in the intoxicating beauty of the gentle giants that are slowly enveloping us and am again overcome with emotion and deep knowing that the universe is indeed perfect.

I spend the next 24 hours cradled in their omnipotent magnificence. “It’s much easier to be closer to God out here, isn’t it?” I remark to my rejuvenator hostess (also longtime friend and massage therapist) and she nods and smiles in return.

A soak in the springs followed by a massage and a steam. Sharing a good meal with an excellent BC gewürztraminer with her on a perfect summer’s eve. Singing along to my music as I glide up and down the twisty roads between my old friends, sharing the journey with other happy campers and motorcyclists.

It’s in these moments that I feel that I am fully alive. Sensing which muscles are being used to steady my wobbly legs on my first rollerblade of the season. Dipping my toes in the icy stream. Sipping a soy chai as I lounge in the sun basked window seat at the coffee shop while I alternately take in the view and flip through the local weekly paper.

On the second or third page I notice an article about a memorial service for a local woman who had gone missing while out hiking. It included quotes from people who were close to her, describing her with words like sparkly and bouncing. It seemed she had an unquenchable zest for life that just bubbled out of her, a joyful, unstoppable energy.

Although it is beyond sad that we have lost these people at such a young age, it seems that their passing is serving to remind us that it is our duty to live fully and consciously, EVERY DAY, during our precious and sometimes brief time here.

The creek continues to gurgle and wind past me and a butterfly flutters by. It is a spectacularly beautiful day in this corner of the earth, and I count my blessings, gather my things and head off to spend the remains of it with one that I love.

*addendum* the mountains called once again later that same afternoon. And I answered, riding on the back of the bike, holding on tight with breathless delight. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

Donnerstag, Juni 22, 2006

Rest in peace, sweet Prince

We lost a colleague and a friend two days ago in a motorcycle accident.

They said in the bereavement stuff that was sent around by HR that it's good to talk and write about it, but words are failing me. We will gather this afternoon to grieve and console one another.

All I had to say has already been expressed quite eloquently here. Thanks, Issa.

Dienstag, Juni 20, 2006

set·tle (verb): to make or become resident

“Does it bother you to have to pack up your stuff and move around all the time?” asked the mango giver, as she helped me lug my belongings from Jules into the new sit yesterday.

“No, not really” I replied, “it’s only every couple of weeks, and I get to settle in to this one for a whole month”.

Settling in usually takes me about two hours, or one and a half in a pinch. I’m not a light traveler, by any stretch of the imagination. As I gathered my piles of possessions together the day before, they took up the complete surface of the three seater couch. At least two big bags of clothes, 9 pair of shoes (shush), kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, some books and odds and ends. I really don’t consider myself to be a materialistic person. The only two things I was yearning for last night after unpacking were my inflatable bath pillow and Bob (my beloved lime green electric kettle from Amsterdam).

I put my tea, vitamins, pb and rice cakes in the cupboard, the soy milk and yoghurt in the fridge, my 10 items (and a couple few more) in the bathroom, my shoes by the door and the rest in my ‘new’ room. I’ve brought my own bedding (to make it a no-feather zone) and after my bath I happily snuggle into the soft flannel sheets. I’m officially settled. For the next 27 days.

Dienstag, Juni 13, 2006


It has taken me till halfway through this morning (and that extra 45 minutes of sleep) to fully recover from the weekend workin' the vip lounge alongside the jumping ring. I had forgotten how hard it is on the feet to sling drinks all day. Yesterday was kind of a blur, but I did manage to get my (somewhat cheesy, I'll admit) photoshop assignment done by quarter past twelve. That's my mom, and her parents, magically hanging out on the beach I visited in the Dominican in January:

Tonight is my first free evening in I can't even remember how long, and I'm looking forward to sifting through the stack of newspapers that have accumulated over the past week and a half and generally taking it very easy. I mostly only read the entertainment, travel and lifestyle sections, although I have been glancing through the careers lately as well.

Reading though a few of my entries here from a year ago, I realized just how far I have come and have paused to give myself some credit. I have put a lot of positive changes into place, and I feel like my life is flowing with much more joy, ease and grace these days. That dragon called depression has sulked back to his cave, and I don't predict his return anytime soon. In fact, I've cemented in the boulder blocking the entrance, so just let him try!

Freitag, Juni 09, 2006

fun with the alphabet

Accent: Since most of my customers are American, I do get called on my Canadian accent when I use words like ‘about’. One of the best compliments for me is when people tell me I have no accent when speaking German.

Booze: Yes, please! I had to acquire a taste for both beer and wine, but my love for Vodka (tall, with soda, cran and a lime wedge) came to me naturally.

Chore I Hate: Hate is a very strong word now, isn’t it? I dislike vacuuming. I hope to have mostly hardwood floors if I ever have a house, as I much prefer cleaning those (in fact, I have a rather abnormal fondness for it, just ask my sis)

Dogs/Cats: both. I recently ‘got over’ a cat allergy, actually. I was getting more and more house sits with felines, so I had no choice. Antihistamines make me loopy. Mind over matter!

Essential electronics: Besides the brand spankin’ new PDA I received as a b-day gift? (I know I’m spoiled). I think once my music is uploaded onto it, I’ll be all set!

Favorite perfume/cologne: After sampling several thousand different ones every time I go through a drug store, I finally broke down and purchased a set of mini Alfred Sung ones: Shi (blue & purple), Jewel and Sung.

Gold/Silver: Definitely Silver. Or platinum. Or white gold. As long as there is a honkin’ diamond attached. Just kidding.

Hometown: I would consider t to be Calgary… Spent age 5-18 here, and 27-now (excluding a little shy of a blissful year spent in the Yoho Valley)

Insomnia: not very frequently

Job Title: which one? I like ‘housesitter extrordinaire’ , but I’m also an account executive and a catering server/bartender

Kids: someday… tick tick tick (hey, can you hear that?)

Living Arrangements: this is an interesting one! I’ve had 9 different sits this year so far. I’m like a turtle/gypsy, transporting most of my stuff from place to place in my car, Jules. Officially, I rent my sister’s basement suite, but am rarely to never there.

Most Admired Trait: people comment that I am genuine and kind hearted.

Overnight Hospital Stays: nope

Phobias: deep water that I can’t see the bottom of. Boats.

Quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the World” -Gandhi

Religion: I go to the Center for Positive Living

Siblings: 2 brothers, 2 sistas. Brothers are both in Ontario, my sisters are here.

Time I usually wake up: lately just before 7.

Unusual talent: tying cherry stems in knots with my teeth and many more

Vegetable I refuse to eat: can’t think of any!

Worst habit: procrastination. It took me 4 days to write this!

X-rays: for my teeth a couple of times. Try to avoid ‘em.

Yummy foods I make: I make a mean guacamole!

Zodiac Sign: Twins. And I’m Wood Tiger

Dienstag, Juni 06, 2006

words to live by


With passion pray. With passion work. With passion make love.
With passion eat and drink and dance and play.
Why look like a dead fish in this ocean of God?
- Rumi

Montag, Juni 05, 2006

Baklava and Birthday report

Happiness is…

Finding the piece of Baklava in my pocket that Sam at the Shawarma place gave me today at lunch ~gratis~ with my falafel for being a first time customer. Mmm pistachio. One nut that doesn’t make my gums itch (unlike walnut, hazelnut or pecans). It was an absolutely delicious meal, and it cost almost exactly what I had just earned by walking Buddy, my sometime lunch hour charge. Gotta love the universal flow of the cash.

I also love the flow of wonderful friends who blessed me with their presence on Saturday night, and the positive and light energy which was created as they all blended together, old and new, and sang me happy birthday as I blew out the candles. There were goddesses everywhere, flowers, wine, lox from Dad, bubbles bubbles and more bubbles… The only thing missing were the bagpipes (next year we have to remember to give them more than an hours notice). I now feel totally prepared for Tirty-two. Bring it on!

Freitag, Juni 02, 2006

Positively GOOD

We’re working on this currently in my positive thinking class. Since I neglect doing my homework most weeks, I thought I might combine it with posting and kill two birds…oops, bad use of idiom as I’m currently looking after one sweet little tweety.

Anyhoo, it’s about making a shift in consciousness about your current state.
My thighs hurt, but it’s a good thing cause it means my muscles are a formin’ (helps playing goalie two weeks in a row, and we’re 2 for 2!)
My butt hurts, but that’s a good thing because it means I’m using the bike and gettin’ fit.
I’m using the bike cause Jules had to make another trip to visit her buddy Al the mechanic, but that’s ultimately good cause then she’ll be in great shape for any upcoming road trips.
Road trips are good, period.
I’m tired but its good cause it means my days and nights are full of busy goodness.

See? Good wins every time.