Sonntag, Juli 31, 2005

Ok, so I knew I wasn't going to be having a weekend (I even wrote those exact words a few days back), but here it is Sunday noon and I have a panic on that I'm not going to be able to get anything done. Since I don't know how late tonight's shift at the family reuinion will be (some of the prime people watching will be had, for sure), and tomorrow begins my 3 day work week with all three evenings booked, I'm wondering when *everything else* is going to find time to get done before my trip begins Thursday. Where did I leave that magic wand?

Just called in to give myself a couple of extra hours. 'K, prioritize... should I tackle the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom? So far I have had some playtime, a cuppa green tea (with lemongrass), a shower, and I rolled down Jules' windows & opened the sunroof. Baby, it's HOT outside!!

Granted, I keep myself busy on purpose, and for valid reasons. But you do need balance. Good thing I can combine work with fun quite easily. Yesterday was a 100 person wedding reception in the backyard of the middle aged couple's home in a nearby town. Nice & laid back, these people were a pleasure to serve. Despite the heatwave we sweated through, it was a 'great event' in several ways: hangin out with E & Lee, enough extra nibblies, high praise AND cash tips!

Better continue gettin' my checklist checked before I have to leave. Uh oh, I think the plants need watering too...

Samstag, Juli 30, 2005

in another life we were both cats

I attended a birthday party (one of a rash of thirtieths that have been breaking out recently) this lovely Summer's eve. Allie is a girl I came to know and share a happy symbiotic relationship with the year before last. A very old aquaintance (our moms were friends when we were wee) mentioned A's plight with finding someone to sublet her *very cool* Mission apartment (half of the bottom of an old, funky house) for a few months and possibly take over some furniture, real cheap. I was a girl desparate to get outta her mom's basement in the 'burbs with not a whole lot of baggage, furniture wise (I had moved back to Canada from Germany and started from scratch a few years prior). So me and Allie struck a deal.

She has since returned from her traipsing around the US, South America, Montreal, oh, I've plumb lost track... and has reintegrated herself nicely into the ever fascinating Ramsay/Inglewood community. I loved each and every one of the colourful cast of characters I encountered tonight, and quite enjoyed the diversity of the entity gathered in her petite back yard. Teelights in stained glass holders, a fire going in the pit, it was at once lively and mellow, celebratory and familiar.

Another strange cosmic connection that A & I unknowingly share are mutual friends ~ at her last get-together I ran into my first crush from grade 3 (the infamous DJ who consequensly ended up rocking my housewarming partee back in March). Tonight it was an old flame, and as it turns out, one who used to stoke her fire as well. The universe sometimes works in mysterious ways, doesn't it? Small world indeed...

Freitag, Juli 29, 2005

Calling all Lurkers!

Well hello there!

According to my handy dandy tracking device, there were 28 of y'all who stopped by yesterday (a personal record here in the Kingdom of Sass ~ Yay!)

But I'm just so curious about who you are and where you're from...
Would you mind leaving a little comment for little 'ol me? Pretty please with chocolate sprinkles on top? Thanks! (and thanks, T, for the use of your beautiful pic).

Happy Weekend!

Donnerstag, Juli 28, 2005

Waxing 101

If you dare try it at home

You'll need

- a waxing kit
- a well lit room
- the right room temperature
- a towel to sit on
- a damp towel nearby
- a microwave
- enough liquid courage (I highly recommend a natural root beer with a double shot o' vodka)
- a treat/reward at the end (what I wanted: a sexy man's neck to wrap my smooth-as-a-baby's-butt calves around, what I got: a fat free fudgescicle)
- music helps

1. lay out your towel to sit on, wet the other towel with warm water
2. warm wax up in microwave according to directions on box
3. take deep breaths throughout
4. stir wax with wooden stick, check for right consistency/temperature
5. apply in a downward motion, not too thickly
6. rub fabric strip against waxed area
7. rip off in an upward motion
8. are you still breathing deeply?
9. didn't think so
10. repeat as necessary
11. wash rest of wax off with warm water
12. apply oil/lotion provided
13. treat time!

That *other* area I'm leaving up to a professional!

HNT take 2

Here we have.... My nails after a weekend camping trip. I did not break one!

Kat made fun of me constantly, starting the night before we left when she came home to find me painting them. But hey- who has the last laugh now?

Going to experiment with the webcam camera next week and hopefully bring you somethin' a little more... risque?

Ready for Me

Halfway done putting the groceries away. Is that anything like sitting halfway up the stairs? It happens to be halfway through the week, too. How peculiar. What a stellar day, though. Seriously. Once the sitting at my desk answering calls and emails part was over, that is. :)

I think my subconscious (thanks, subconscious!) knows that things are going to shift just a bit this upcoming week and is making the necessary adjustments on my behalf. I agreed to two catering shifts this week, which a) leaves me with no weekend but b) oh yeah, I'm taking a 5 day weekend next week!! Yee Haw, I'm headed to the coast to celebrate my superstar sista's 30th in style. Drunken style, but still, it's a style. (Not to mention Doggie! Hee hee). So the extra shifts will come in handy what with the feeding of my beamer's hungry tank to get me out there and back.

The perfect yoga class (how does she just *know* I need the hip openers? this woman is incredible) was followed by a trip that filled my empty fridge and pantry accompanied by my oh so tired Uhu. Plus, I managed to sneak in laundering my sheets in between so I now have a freshly made bed to crawl into... Shortly. Very shortly.

I am still enjoying the quiet, peaceful cool night that has unfolded around me. Kat's 'the beauty of recovery' is playing, my post yoga mellow mood meshing well with this glass of italian white. All is in order in my little corner of the world. Sweet dreams.

Dienstag, Juli 26, 2005

it's Tuesday

and we won our game. 3-0, my sister is an absolute superstar. I couldn't catch up to #11, the bitch - she outran me every time. Time to start up again with the morning jogging/stairs routine. This was the summer for kicking ASS, remember? Oh, how easily we forget. Tempted by *special* brownies and lazy days filled live music. Sucker!

I think I finally came down proper sometime this morning at work. I was experiencing an upper plane of emotions this morning seldom visited. I think that's when I do my best writing, express what's down deep in there. I was tired of the fence sitting so I stirred it up a little last night after practise. Summarized in four paragraphs today, hit send and voila! Attitude adjustment complete.

I'm okay with being a hopeless romantic, by the by. It suits me. Look, I'm wearing a floral flowy dress, for god sakes! You'll often see me describe myself as a hippie, in this place, the Almighty Kingdom of Sass. And you know what? That's perfectly ok with me too. So there.

Just got of the phone with my Kat, she's up in ze mountains with her germans. I both envy and pity her. Funny, that. I'll be making a trip of my own through ze mountains soon, with the *added bonus* of going places I have never been before. In all the variations that might bring. Hmmm. Let's go ponder that one, shall we? Or, we could just call it a night. 'night.

Montag, Juli 25, 2005

It was like a dream

I did not rise from my bed this morning until a quarter past the hour.
By some miracle, I managed to be here three minutes before I had to sign in (at half past). It’s a hair-in-the-ponytail-no-makeup kinda day. It’s a Monday, of course.

Visions of the folk fest just past floating around my semi-conscious brain. Had a lovely time, soaking it all up. Many a time, laying back on the blanket spread out on the space we had claimed as our own in the middle of the field in front of the main stage, I glanced up at the clouds in the sky, and thought “this is exactly where I want to be”.

The familiar faces were nice to see, very reassuring that some traditions never die. People will continue to go back, year after year, to take in the music, the atmosphere, all that this place has come to represent. It struck me that so many families & generations were in attendance. All peacefully coexisting on the island, caught up in its festivities, barely noticing the rest of the world going by. It was like we too were suspended in this alternate place and time. Our Island, for the duration. Thanks to the city, for rebuilding the road. And see you all next year, Folkies!

Samstag, Juli 23, 2005

Half-Nekked Thursday {excuse the folkfest detained lateness}

And here we have it. My first ever HNT. Woo Hoo! May I present a calf, ladies & gents. The other two hiking booted feet belong to Kat, my partner in crime on the White Swan camping trip. I'm not entirely sure what prompted me to take this shot, but here it is and here you have it.

This really is a fun concept. Although I must confess, it was partly Hot mama Blaze and partly Kristy's naked courage (and breezy elegance) who have inspired me to disclothe myself on the www. Now if you could please excuse me, I'm going to get Nekkid and to bed.

*update on the festivities* yay! It's only Friday. Two whole glorious days lie ahead, as I hang like wallpaper and mix with the folk on the island. I realized tonight during my emotional singalong with the indigo girls' Power of Two just how many memories I have of this place, and how much I enjoy the whole experience of the weekend. A lot of people enjoying the music, themselves and eachother. I just mentioned having the premonition that I was going to see familiar faces. Lots of lovely people, I think the count is at about a dozen. Really a Happy Shiny People type of gathering. Such a beautiful night that I walked home ~ that moon is reaking havoc. Good thing it's of the peaceful Shiva (I know, that's a contradiction) kind of havoc. I am a walking contradiction these days, have decided to embrace it in its entirety.

Donnerstag, Juli 21, 2005

devil in the blue dress

Found the most perfect replacement for my poor long lost folkfestdress… it’s blue, batik, and has fishies all over it. I’m ready for a weekend of wonderful music and people watching. Of course I’m wearing my Birks, did you even have to ask?

Have the feeling I’m going to run into a lot of people I know there… and will probably meet some new ones! Knowing my mom (who showed up to our soccer game yesterday completely dressed in yellow, with the exception of a pink hat with the most humongous rim I have EVER seen) she’ll have half the audience chatted up before the first act even starts. Gotta love the Mama! Go with the flow, and enjoy the show.

Dienstag, Juli 19, 2005

"When they float, they're done, right?"

I made Gnocchi tonight. For the first time since I moved back from Germany, wow, now more than 4 years ago. And oh my god was it ever delicious! The sauce, a delightful mix of spicy olives, capers, tuna in a tomato base. A little parmesan on top. Mmmm the audible sigh of enjoyment as I took the first bite. A sure sign that I'm in store for a food orgasm and at the beginning of a very wonderful meal. Others I know do the happy food dance. I moan.

But it was a pure act of Shedonism tonight and I acted alone. Putting in the effort to concoct dinner for my sassy self after my extremely low key yoga class (I swear, we were on the floor covered in blankets for three quarters of it! So needed). Now I have dined, and shall feast at lunch tomorrow. Well done.

It was the second time I was at the yoga studio today, actually. I have joined the twice weekly morning chant/meditation class as of yesterday. And although I have just begun (with baby steps) along my path to enlightment, I already feel calmer and more centered for having gone.

Here is the "theme of the week" mantra, as my adorable yet so wise instructor L says in her eastern european accent.

the gayatri mantra

Om bhur, bhuvah, svah
tat savitur varenyam
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yo nah prachodayat


Om. In each of the three planes of existence. We recollect in ourselves and meditate upon that wondrous Spirit of the Divine Solar Being: may he guide our inner vision.

"Yes, Virginia, when they're done they DO float"

Montag, Juli 18, 2005

The most beautiful blue babies... I mean berries

"Shedonism" has been born.
Just so you know.
I invented it this weekend.

I got down. I came clean. I remembered what it was like to play, mess around, just be.

I took calculated risks. I tripped over an old habit. I shared one (or two) with my sister. And plenty of laughs. A floor around a sushi table with our dad.

I discovered how liberating truth is.
Especially when it is your own self you're talking to.


This week is shaping up to be most intriguing. Something's in the air, I tell ya. Has to be related to the full moon on Thursday (start of the Folk Fest... Coincidence? I think not).

So far, my mom has quit her job and a dear friend confided in me that she might be with child.

And it's only Monday!!

Samstag, Juli 16, 2005

Hedonism Part 1

*or, how to make Sassy's Saturday Morning truly great*

- Just say NO! when asked to work a plated dinner for 500 (even if it IS a wedding)
- Stay in bed till noon
- Make sure you have *fresh* batteries
- When, and only when you're truly ready, get up and wander about in robe & slippers
- Give yourself a face mask with that mud that heats up
- Have a whole little pot of coffee to yourself with dark hot chocolate mixed in
- Prepeare and enjoy a goats cheese/cheddar turkey bacon & tomato omelette
- This is important: DON'T LEAVE ANY LEFTOVERS
- Keep the beats coming, change station according to mood
- Don't forget to take your vitamins!
- Purrrrrrrrrr

:) Happy Hedonistic Weekend!

Freitag, Juli 15, 2005


I am not being true to myself and I know it.
Get a grip, would ya?

Does this sound like negative self talk to you?
Um, yeah.
Do I need to hear it AND receive a smack upside the head?
Um, yeah.
Working on it...

Don't ring, phone. I double dog dare ya.

Donnerstag, Juli 14, 2005

one more time

Exhale. Don't forget to inhale.

It's been one of those days, thank goodness it's almost over and I have freshly laundered sheets to put on the bed. Does anyone else think it utterly shocking and ridiculous that a 31 year old woman should only have one set of sheets to her name? Whatever.

Had quite the surprisingly productive work day and evening, considering my hungover state. Lost the write-a-rap contest for the Black Eyed Peas tickets. Terribly disappointing , I tell ya. Lunched with a colleague who is hiring me for her reception set up (my first freelance job!). Went for my yoga class tonight and found it cancelled due to the fact that nobody else showed up. Oh well, had a nice chat with the teacher and came home and practiced in the living room to the tape with the strange south african accented man on it. Aforementioned laundry, some much needed art therapy (with a brand new box of Crayolas, no less - maybe I'll figure out how to post my masterpiece) and dinner. If you count putting a soya dog on a bun with a slice of cheese any considerable amount of effort.

How could I forget the trip the grocery store on my way home, where the water incident* took place. (*possibly my second rant in a week, watch out)...

Really not up to getting into details there, so I'll say goodnight. Sleep tight.

ps the picture above is one I just found in the shared folder. It is titled "Sankatra Happy Place". Indeed.

miss you,

deine biene

Dienstag, Juli 12, 2005

Loose translation:

The today's day lends wings to your soul. Not only do head and heart harmonise joyfully, you could experience an emotional lift, which lets you take off into seventh heaven. Use the opportunity, in order to bring things in order, with which both fantasy and understanding are asked for.

So I'm playing around on the net this eve, sitting here in my yoga clothes (similar scene yesterday, but it was my sports bra & soccer shorts) eating nachos & salsa, drinking the second to last beer in the fridge. Freaking myself out. Why do I do this? Wish I knew. Guess I feel I need a little celestial assistance with my current 'issues'. The most I'll ever do is draw a runestone- I abhor the thought of going to a fortune teller or reader of palms. Not my thing. So why this sudden outburst in cravings to know what the future is going to bring?

Maybe with my sudden assertiveness and decision to LIVE life instead of being a spectator (albeit, one with really nice pom poms!), I have stumbled on a very important question.
Now what?

I believe there's a grand plan and so to a certain extent, there's not much we as mere mortals can do to alter its course. But personal destiny? Hell, yeah! I'm in charge of getting myself up on the right side of bed every (ok, most) mornings, of deciding to face life with a smile on my face (and a song in my heart)... Ok, let's not get carried away here. Can you tell I'm still exhausted and delirious from the weekend? Nah.

Speaking of which, it's time to get my sassy self into bed so I can get some quality zzz time to be able wake up and smile at the world tomorrow come morn.

Ritter der Kelche

Der heutige Tag verleiht Ihrer Seele Flügel. Nicht nur, dass Kopf und Herz erfreulich gut miteinander harmonieren, Sie könnten darüber hinaus einen emotionalen Auftrieb erleben, der Sie in den siebten Himmel abheben lässt. Nutzen Sie die Gelegenheit, um Dinge in Ordnung zu bringen, bei denen sowohl Phantasie als auch Verstand gefordert sind.


Dies war die Frage:"werden D und ich wieder zusammen kommen?"

Das Yahoo! Orakel sprach:"Niemals, niemals, niemals."


Vorname: Sass
Geburtsdatum: 24.05.1974

Ihr persönliches Horoskop für den 13. Juli 2005 Ganz unverhofft können sich heute neue berufliche Perspektiven auftun, die Sie auf Erfolgskurs bringen. Da sollten Sie nicht lange fackeln, sondern schnell überlegen und entscheiden, bevor die Konkurrenz es tut. Hören Sie dabei nicht nur auf Ihren gesunden Menschenverstand, sondern auch auf Ihre Intuition. Beides wird nämlich von den Sternen gestärkt.

Montag, Juli 11, 2005

[I am] Unlimited Potential

Don't you love a cursor blinking on a white background? How it beckons, calls to you. To put fingers to keys, to fill the void. With whatever you wish. Unlimited Potential. Funny, that's what this summer's motto was to be. Going to wash the whiteboard of:

"Hoere die Musik, erlebe und erkenne dich selbt, Werde, der du bist!"
(Listen to the music, live and learn to recognize yourself, Be who you are)

and replace it with a fresh new mantra.

The time has come to put this dreaming into action. Play the music, be the music, don't just sit back listening to it. Start those baby steps towards the cliff. Oh, wait, maybe we should be checking to see if the parachute is packed properly first... That may just have been my mistake the past few times I have jumped off that ledge, freefalling and then splat! You get the picture.

My Kat would say I'm being too hard on myself again. That those weren't really crashes, just little stumbles along the way, bound to happen to anyone merrily tripping along the road of life. Which brings me directly (in a round about way) to my next bit 'o wisdom: if that road's not working for you, choose a different one. You know, the one without the big gaping hole in the middle of it. Patience, Grasshopper! And you too, Biene Babbling Brook.

Sonntag, Juli 10, 2005

We came. We served. We kicked ass.

Despite the beyond sore feet and lack of social life this weekend, I am still quite pleased that in 2 1/2 days, I covered the rent for next month. Or, earned 1/3 of my January trip to the Carribean...

Excuse me while I kick back with my fishbowl-like glass of Merlot and partake in a bath of bubbles. Later.

Donnerstag, Juli 07, 2005

SG: 3 World: 0

My Goodness. Already halfway through my big ass slurpee (they were out of small cups, what's a girl to do?). It's a rainbow of sugary goodness, blue, pink & green on top, to celebrate our 8-0 WIN over the girls in green. YAY!! It was so nice to be out on the field with my sista again, with her huge grin and even huger kicks. We lost the battle over the mosquitos though (I think we must have gone through 6 or 7 cans of spray). Luckily the little buggers don't have a very long life span, and it's about to get HOT here for awhile... Right Mother Nature?

Tomorrow sees the beginning of our fair city's greatest outdoor show on earth. What fucking ever... I'm seriously thinking of boycotting the whole kit and caboodle after the tragic and so unnecessary death of nine wild horses. Why those stupid people couldn't get their heads out of their asses and realize that to bring 200 of them into a city of almost a million, alongside highway, river AND Traintracks is not a good idea is beyond my comprehension. There you have it, my rant for the month.

My sudden assertiveness has brought me rich rewards, however. A window on the world in two months, for one. Second, the satisfaction of telling the video store off. That really got my adrenalin pumping! Go Sass Go!

Finishing off the rest of my slush as I try to work off the buzz from ingesting it by folding Uhu's mountain of laundry. He really is my brotha from anotha motha! He's even listed under my 'family' contacts, right next to my Kat. I can't wait for all the fun we're going to have this weekend, kicking some VIP lounge ass! (Almost as much fun as I had with my girls in yella tonight, fighting the mosquitos AND the lime avalanche).

Sassy's feeling: Pretty Kick ASS! :)

Mittwoch, Juli 06, 2005

Welcome to the newest member of the urban crib

Kaa, the 4 and a half foot long boa.

I am NOT impressed.

Montag, Juli 04, 2005

Adventures in Lawnmowing

Apparently I have earned a new nickname from Uhu. Saucy. Nice variation on the sassafrass theme, actually.

Nice, gentle start to the week. My walking buddy cancelled last minute and although I *should* have gotten up and walked/jogged anyway, I rolled over and dozed for another hour. Could be due to the slight stiffness I was feeling after my shift last night. Oh well, tomorrow's another morning and we meet at 7!

Probably would a teensy bit more with it had I gotten my lazy butt up, but the day began and I drank my tea and woke up eventually. Enough to do today to make me feel competent as well as help the time pass till my early departure.

Loved having an extra few hours in the afternoon to putz around (read= surf, laundry, I always need a few projects on the go at once), clean up the yard in preparation for mowing it. And I had every intention! Alas, the powers that be were not cooperating cause when I went to the garage to get the lawnmower, it was nowhere to be seen!

Alas indeed. Upon returning from soccer practice and smelling that sweet sweet smell wafting from the garage next door, I of course followed my nose (it always knows) and found a gaggle of neighbourly neighbours in the midsts of a friendly game of poker in said garage.

Not only did I find the mower, but a friendly (might just have discovered a new elf!) soul who volunteered to show me how to use the damn thing. Yes, the very one who does her nails on the eve of going camping has never mowed a lawn. Shocked? I didn't think so.

Now THAT was fun. And quite a good workout. May just have burned more calories than I did during soccer practice. Plus, I have the funkiest looking lawn on the block ~ somehow ended up doing a triangular pattern...Hee hee. Feeling quite satisfied and competent (have to share moods verbally as poor unky doesn't seem to be operational at the moment) and quenched after my two ciders. I'm perhaps ready to head to bed sometime soon. Mmm. Bed. Like now? G'night.

Two weddings and a magic carpet ride

Don't you hate it when you have brushed your teeth and then have uncontrollable chocolate/ice cream cravings? I said to hell with it and had myself a handful of chocolate chips and a vanilla pudding pop. Currently munching my way through a bowl of strawberries, garnish I lifted from dessert trays at the wedding tonight. Oh well, I can always brush them again!

It has been a fucking awesome long weekend. Kat & I got the party started Thursday night out on the town. Unfortunately the line & cover they were still charging after midnight at my friends show discouraged us from hanging out there. We took a leap and landed on a magic carpet ride of an adventure, flirting on the verge of caution being thrown to the wind. How I love this woman, still up with me at 6 am, giggling, eating chinese food.

Friday was my internet radio oddesey, as chronicled in the last post. Then began my weekend wedding extravaganza. I actually got to be a guest at one yesterday, then worked one tonight. The difference between the two was like night & day. Becky (nickname) and her farmer tied the knot in a small country church, with about 50 people in attendance. They caught a ride in a big red firetruck to the hall, where the Lion's Club catered us our Hawaiian themed feast and cheerfully served home mixed mai tais (so strong the little umbrellas practically stood up by themselves). I cried twice, the moment I saw her come into the church (and intermittedly thoughout the ceremony) then at the reception as one of her bridesmaids toasted her. She does deserve to be toasted, and celebrated and loved and cherished and all of those good things. After seing her glow with pure joy all day long and the meeting of her ~gulp~ husband for the first time yesterday, I believe firmly that this exactly the man for the job.

Today's affair was a plated dinner for 150, the party after the party they held yesterday at the bride's parents mansion. The sup. worded it best, mentioning that most of the guests were just hanging around out of politeness. A big show to impress what appeared to be business associates of the older generation. More concerned with the asthetics, they missed the point completely, that a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love.

There, I have said my piece. Missed the cake (it probably tasted like plastic, anyway). I much preferred the macadamia nut brownie torte baked with much love by my dear friend's brand new father-in-law. And man, can he cut a rug!

Freitag, Juli 01, 2005

I'm surrounded by holidayness

Happy happy holiday weekend to both sides of the border! I'm sure I could find out with what frequency that happens fairly easily but I'm too lazy to google.

Had a fantastically lazy day (with the exception of the bike ride to & from sistas to suck more water out of her basement for a few hours). A 3 hour nap when I got home! Still a little groggy, I have been having me some lounging/surfing fun, uploading more of the camping pics to Flickr, and exploring the wickedness of world wide radio broadcasts. SO nice to have some new music to listen to (internet love) and I'm excited about ~eventually~ setting up my itunes situation here at the crib.

Some of the stations I hit tonight on

the ~ Underground Hip Hop Radio, New Songs, Classics, Unreleased, Live Mixshows, Move
WA electronic ~ dancefloor orientated DnB from an Australian perspective
Utopia Vibes ~ Downbeat, Jazz, Trip-Hop, Lounge lovers
Creation Steppin ~ classic and modern roots reggae
Soulgood / Streetlevel ~ Tribal & Funky House. UK Garage. From South Australia.

Quite the mix!

As my wishlist grows, I'm anticipating a nice beats filled Summer...

Do me a favor and go out and shake your booties for me? At least once in the next 3 days. For me ;)

What we are coming to know

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring with your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or even your own; if you can dance with the wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning your self to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being a human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even if every day is not pretty, and if you can source you life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘YES!!’
It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn’t matter to me who you are or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or with whom you studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer,
Native American Elder