Samstag, Dezember 29, 2007

Tomorrow, Motherhood

Well, looks like it's time for this precious little being which has been growing inside of me for the past 9 or 10 months (who's even counting anymore when you're 12 days over your due date??) to come out and meet the world.

After 'fighting for our right' not to be induced today at the hospital, various other attempts (acupuncture, acupressure, walking, sex, herbal remedies) to get labour going on our own have unfortunately not been fruitful. So it looks like we'll be heading back to the hospital tomorrow for an induction.

I can't help but think that there is a mental connection here, as I really haven't completed all of my 'to-do' list yet, but you know what? We've done that, been there before. I am never going to get everything done, that is the reality of the situation and I may as well accept it instead of struggling against it. Among the many classes I have taken over the past couple of years, one of the most important things I learned was not to have a 'to-do' list but rather a 'to be'.

I know that I am a strong, capable, decisive, loving, giving person and that is enough for me. So baby, it's time to come out and meet your Mommy. I'll do you proud, I promise.

Montag, Dezember 24, 2007

'twas the night before Christmas...

... and we're still waiting for our little angel to make his/her appearance.

I am exactly a week overdue today (that is, if my conception date was accurate) and we were at an Ultrasound today to find out how baby is doing. Everything is fine, so we're going to wait another couple of days and repeat it on Thursday.

It is simply unbelievable that I have been off work for 5 weeks already... My time has been taken up with swimming, yoga, Doctor and acupuncture appointments, the occasional massage. The time I've spent at home has been alternating between sleeping in and generally taking it easy to occasional bursts of nesting/sorting/organizing activity, which I wish there would have been more of to be truthful. I DID get all of thank you cards out for the wedding and baby shower (plus a few Christmas cards) and that I am proud of.

I feel very calm and relaxed the majority of the time, been listening to the 'Hypno Birthing' on my Nano almost daily, which has definitely helped contribute to this state of mind. It's everyone else it seems who are getting anxious for Baby to make its arrival, giving me all kinds of advice on how to get the labour started. Hey, if Baby is doing well and I'm feeling fine, I see no need to rush this.

Besides, there are still at least 6 things on my 'to do' list that I haven't crossed off... At this rate I won't be delivering till Valentines Day!

Freitag, November 16, 2007

Christmas came early

We have our company 'holiday' party tonight and returned from a meeting this morning at the local movie theater (the only place nearby that is big enough to hold all of us) to find that gifts had been placed on each of our desks... a t-shirt and book and a NANO!!! :) :) :)

I love my job and I am so going to miss this place (I begin my maternity leave at 3 pm)...

Plus, right in the middle of the meeting, I received the best text message ever from my soul brother, Tony:

"Love...Bliss...Spirit...Freedom...Play!!! Some words to live by... even just for today... I double dog dare You!!!!!"

Today and every day, Tony.

How did he know?

Montag, November 12, 2007

35 days

... is all that's left on the baby counter! Unbelievable.

This is my last week of work (also unbelievable) and I'm starting to feel panicked that I won't get it all done. I may as well accept it now, I WON'T get it all done, and that's ok. Exhale.

Still busy in the non-work hours with relatives visiting from my Dad's side and baby preparations. The doula is coming by tonight to go through labour positions. etc with us and I have this nagging feeling that I should probably get my bag for the hospital packed... just in case.

I'd like a few weeks to get organized and 'nested', still LOTS left on the 'to do' list. LOTS.

Montag, Oktober 29, 2007


The photographers we used for our wedding are using one of our shots on their website:

Oh, and here's a bit of an update that I started to write last week:

We've been living there almost 6 weeks now and I'd say we're about 60% unpacked. The baby's room is painted a beautiful light blue (thanks to Dad and his trusty helper Ken) and all aired out, thanks to my honey's vigilant window opening (he hates the smell of paint, I don't mind it at all). The front room, eventually destined to become the 'formal' living room, is piled high with baby items that kind people have been donating to us. The 'formal' dining room is more like the cats play area, with their toys strewn (sp?) about. We've got two couches in the family room (or 'den') and a makeshift coffee table and I think we may even try out the fireplace sometime this week.

Down to my last 3 1/2 weeks (not that I'm counting) and it's just starting to sink in that I've got some major life changes coming up here. It's not going to be my job to help whiny, clueless, scatterbrained, demanding customers anymore (whoops, did that come out sounding a little bitter?) I'm going to have a whole new set of responsibilities, caring and nurturing a precious little being. I have decided that this is where my priorities must be, regardless of how unprepared my company might be (they haven't yet hired my replacements so the chance of actually getting to train them is pretty darn slim but again, NOT MY PROBLEM).


Big preparations are in the works for my Dad's 65th. Most of the preparations he is doing himself mind you, but that's the way he rolls. He is the ultimate entertainer and with at least 11 relatives and friends at last count flying in for the event, it's sure to be a party that only I will remember all the details of (being the only sober one!!). Prost, Vatti!

Mittwoch, September 26, 2007

Hello from my Heart

I just found out about this organization, and the fact that the Reverand at my church (and the very woman who married me & my husband) is guiding a global meditation & discussing world peace tonight on a Teleconference.
Here is the Shared Intention Agreement for this 30 Days of Peace program:
I AM Peace, Love, Wisdom and Compassion.
I smile in gratitude toward the divinity in all life
Just click on the image above if you'd like more information.
Peace & Love Abound!

Sonntag, September 09, 2007

Autumn is upon us

Most of the leaves on the trees on my street have turned yellow. It's only 'my' street for another week, and then we'll be living on our new street, for what I think will be a very long time indeed. It's interesting to be actually setting down these roots, and feeling so good and so natural about it. At first the task of finding our dream home seemed like a daunting one, but things have flowed (as I knew deep down that they would) and after seeing about a dozen the decision was rather easy.

Tomorrow the Goddesses will gather in the mostly empty dwelling. I will burn some sweetgrass to clear the energy of the previous family and we will give a blessing for our new life beginning there. A lot of newness happening this year: marriage, homeownership and parenthood all thrust upon us in this breathtakingly exciting and short time. I have often been feeling the need to take a moment to take it all in, absorb the changes and roll with them. These are all things that we both desired, in our lives, with each other, and yet we had no idea it would all happen so quickly and all at once.

So rolling with it we are, as we watch my belly grow (99 days to go!) and it all becomes more real and tangible.

The house, our home. Us together, a family. I am so incredibly blessed.

Sonntag, August 26, 2007


Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

I have just finished uploading an old box full of photos of my Grandmother for a slide show I am putting together for her Memorial service, which is taking place this upcoming weekend in Toronto.

It has been an emotional as well as an educational process, to take a look at this woman's life in snapshots...

I know I am proud of her beautiful and independent spirit and that I miss her very much. I am sad that she never got to meet the love of my life and our yet-to-be born baby, who would have called her Gigi as her other 11 Great-grandchildren did.

I have the feeling she'll be smiling down at us as we put her to rest and celebrate her life on Saturday. Here's to you, Gram!

Montag, August 06, 2007

what *isn't* new, pussycat?

In less than four months, I have gotten pregnant, engaged, married and have become a home owner. That's enough to send any girl's head into a spin, wouldn't you say?

I know I haven't been writing as much and some of the time I feel like I need to censor my thoughts, lest I blurt them out here only to have them come and bite me in the ass at a later date. Although this is semi-anonymous, I'm pretty sure that with a little effort I could be identified. Not that I'm trying to be all mysterious or anything, I'm just thinking that if I were completely 'underground', I might feel a little freer to express myself totally and completely. But I suppose that's what the old-fashioned hand written journaling is for.

So what is it that is bouncing around in my head lately? Getting used to a new Mama-in-law, for one. Whose response yesterday when I shared with her the statistic about a pregnant woman's brain shrinking 3 to 5% was "is that why you've been acting so crazy lately?"... My honey was quick to reassure me later on that this was her way of teasing me, a joke not to be taken at all seriously. In my all too sensitive hormone laden state, I was not finding it very funny, but decided for the sake of peace to let it slide.

I am doing my best to let a lot of things not bother me- I know it is in my best interest and in the best interest of the being growing inside of me to keep the stress level as low as possible.

Other things keeping me preoccupied are the need to write and send out about 100 thank you cards...
And scan in a big box of old photographs of my Grandmother for a slide show I am putting together for her memorial next month...

Hmmm and maybe think about starting to pack, seeing as the move is coming up in about 5 weeks. Yeah, I've been a little preoccupied lately.

Donnerstag, Juli 26, 2007

'cause Shan did it too

1. What is the soundtrack for this blog?

It changes with each entry

2. What's bothering you right now?

my head aching

3. Do you close the door when you are sleeping?

have to so the cats can get out!

4. What is in your wallet?

nothin'- just spent it on lunch for me & Cari

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?

a beautiful Veer image of a path in a forest with the sun shining through...

6. Background on your cell phone?

The cake my Dad's ex gf made us for the Rehearsal dinner with the words "And they lived happily ever after..." in blue icing

7. Next time you will kiss someone?

as soon as I get home

8. Where was your default picture taken?

I don't understand the question (I sound like my mother)

9. Eyes: Blue

10. Life: ideal

11. House: buying one soon

12. Doing this weekend?

finding a house to buy & attending a wedding shower

13. Wearing?

Woke up this morning and thought "black", so it's my black maternity shirt and a red & black top that still fits over my belly

14. Who was the last person to send you a text message?

my honey

15. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?

the afternoon off for a looooong nap

16. Listening to?

nothing right now, but I recently uploaded a CD we picked up on our honeymoon in Hawaii "Acoustic Soul - John Cruz"

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named Patty?

Not that I recall

18. What do you smell like?

Alfred Sung "Paradise" and the rapidly disappearing candy necklace my colleague LB gave me

19. Eating?

Candy off the candy necklace (duh)

20. On your bed, what is your favorite thing?

Besides my man? My body pillow

21. Do you believe in a soul mate?

Yes, several. And they always have a lot to teach you

22. What do you wear to bed?

A sports bra, most nights (poor pregnant boobies)

23. Do you remember your dreams?

Lately, yes. Last nigth I was trying to balance on a cliff over the sea

24. Do you burn easily in the sun?

Lately, yes- apparently your skin is more sensitive when you're pregnant (what part isn't??)

25. Have you ever been gambling?

Yes, a couple of times, I usually take $20 and when it's gone, it's gone

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?

Why humankind can't get along better

27. What did you do last weekend?

Went to open houses & two birthday parties

28. Who do you miss?

My PEI Kimmy, my sister & nephews who just moved to Nova Scotia

29. Who is the last girl you hugged?

Cari at lunch

30. Orange or apple juice?

Both. Craving the juice.

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?

My *ahem* husband on our honeymoon

32. What was the last text message?

Am downstairs.

33. Have you kissed anyone on your friendslist dailes?

ummm no

34. Last time you ate a home grown tomato?

last weekend at the in-laws in a zuchini cheese dish. YUM



36. What was the last thing you drank?


37. Who's house did you go to last night?


38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

my mom during her cancer operation/recovery in January

39. Do you like someone right now?

I like my husband. A whole lot.

40. What do you wear more, slacks, jeans, or sweatpants?

none of the above. Am preferring skirts/dresses these days. PJ bottoms at home

41. What is the last movie you watched? With who?

In the theatre it was "Surf's Up" with my two nephews

42. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:

Water, juice, more water

43. What are you excited about?

Everything! Buying a house, having a baby, being married to the man of my dreams!

44. Do you want someone you can't have?

Nope, got him. Hook, line & sinker

45. Who was last to slap your butt?

Probably my sister

46. Where was the last place you went?

Define "went"... the gym last night count?

47. What's on your mind right now?

how to make the three remaining hours of the afternoon pass

48. Have you cried recently?

Are you kidding? I'm pregnant. I cry at the drop of a hat

49. When you think of your crush, who is it?

This is too easy

50. Is taking a shower a daily habit?

Sometimes twice

Sonntag, Juli 08, 2007

Freitag, Juni 29, 2007

Away from here

See that empty chair, second from the left? In my mind, I'm there already.

Away from the endless 'discussion' on how to address my new in-laws with the most respect (nevermind my comfort level)

Away from the burst blood vessels on my eyelids from throwing up so violently (whoever said 'morning' sickness ends after the third month was DEAD wrong)

Away from the demands of needy customers and breakdowns of family members


Sonntag, Juni 24, 2007


I don't think it's possible to fit much more into a weekend than I just did... From sneaking out of work early to run 4 or 5 wedding errands, celebrating my sister's beau's b-day, having a dress fitting, learning how to belly dance, helping a friend pick out a dress to wear to my wedding (and hitting the maternity store for a few goodies for me) and then attending a musical... whew! It's no wonder I'm wiped completely out.

With 13 days till the wedding, I'm getting into "get 'er done" mode... have my list and am checking stuff off as fast as I'm adding to it at the moment. B remarked to me while dropping me off tonight after Mama Mia (I will have ABBA songs stuck in my head the rest of the week!!) that I'm the calmest bride she's ever seen. "Well, I'm marrying the man of my dreams, what's there to sweat about?" came my reply.

The beauty rest, that's another thing completely. Goodnight, sweetie-pies :)

Freitag, Juni 15, 2007

I am Mystique

Your results:
You are Mystique

Poison Ivy
The Joker
Dark Phoenix
Lex Luthor
Dr. Doom
Green Goblin
Mr. Freeze
Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Mittwoch, Juni 13, 2007

movin' on

I just deleted my house sitting blog. Now it's just me and Baby Sass.

If there is one thing you can count on in this life, it's change. And change is a good thing. Especially when it means not having to pack up all your stuff and move around every couple of weeks, looking after other people's stuff, in an attempt to avoid horrible roommates.

I've got stuff of my own to look after now, and a wonderful home to come home to.
We're looking at buying a house this year and really putting down roots. As much as I have become accustomed to (and embraced the idea of) moving around my whole life, this comes as a most welcome change. A place to call our own and to bring up baby. I like it!

Sonntag, Juni 03, 2007

Junes so soon

Oh my. The days (not so much the nights) are flying by lately. 34 days till I do!! The invites are out, the rsvps rolling in, the 'to do' list ever shrinking. It's a nice feeling to have pretty much everything under control, and that we're going to be able to pull this off just the way we want it. For about half of what the average Canadian wedding costs these days. It's still a huge chunk of cash, but it's not going to put us in major debt. For long. :)

In other news, my ever expanding belly is keeping me pretty occupied. Oh, and the boobs too- had to go out and get a larger bra (and it's just the beginning!!) but what a relief for the girls. Also picked up a nice second hand rocker- if I can only keep the cats/cat hair off it it'll be a nice addition to the nursery. When we're ready to set it up, that is. It'll mean losing my meditation/study room but that's ok- I'm working on a perma-state of Zen-ness so I can carry it around with me. The Buddha might get a little heavy.

Montag, Mai 28, 2007

bursting at the seams

I am in love with life lately.

I loved this past weekend, the running around doing errands for the wedding, finally finding the motivation to clean the house at 8 pm while my love worked on beautifying the yard. Sitting on the floor working on the invites with one of my closest friends, A and my future mother-in-law (who granted me permission to call her 'Mama' as her son does). Receiving two Super Soakers as a gift from my sister, and promptly lending them to my three precious nephews to go break in in the back yard, clad in kitchen garbage bags and huge grins.

Having the day off today to lounge in bed, watching pointless tv and eating my favourite cereal, a lovely surprise visit my future husband over lunch and a leisurely afternoon spread before me to run yet more wedding errands, discover my brother on Facebook and plan the next Goddess gathering (belly dancing)!

Yes, I'm just about as happy as happy can be, I see the light at the end of the morning sickness tunnel and I greet each coming day with cheerful expectation. Life is so good.

Montag, Mai 21, 2007

In other news, it's snowing

Seriously. Woke up to snow this morning. Already grumbling cause I had to go into work while the rest of the country slept (we observe Queen Victoria's Birthday here for some reason) it was quite a shock to the system to see the flurries outside the window. It's mostly gone now, although there could be some left up on top of the hill where we live. Hmmm. Mother Nature sure is out of whack.

She's not the only Momma feeling out of sorts. I am *almost* done with the first trimester, but my bouts of nausea have not let up. Kind of a bother while I'm trying to be the super multi-taking organizing queen that I usually am (work being crazy busy AND wedding planning non stop).

I am getting some stuff done, including a wedding website... (leave a comment if you want the link!)

3 days till my b-day...

Freitag, Mai 11, 2007

I am marrying the sweetest man in the world

These arrived today:

The card reads "Sass, to the Mum to be! Love, your Husband to be"

Happy Sigh.

Donnerstag, Mai 10, 2007

On getting dressed

me: "Does this look like a tent?"

my love: "Would you like to wear something else?"

me: "You didn't answer the question"

Montag, Mai 07, 2007

Bloated and it's getting worse

Wow. 8 weeks today and I seriously can't get my skirt done up.

I had a different skirt on this morning that I *thought* was going to do the trick and the moment I sat down in the car to leave for work the zipper popped. Argh! Now here I am with my blouse pulled down over the top of my jeanskirt to try and hide the fact that it's undone. Sigh. Guess it's time to go maternity clothes shopping!

The weekend was a wonderful but exhausting blur of home spa-ing, running around making wedding plans and attending family dinners. I wish I could find the energy at the end of the day for all the laundry, cleaning and general tidying that the house deserately needs but mostly I just can't get back up once I hit that couch.

I need a sign to wear around my neck: Quiet, Please! Baby under construction!

Here's to hoping that the rumours of having more get up and go in the 2nd trimester are true...

Mittwoch, Mai 02, 2007

back to me

Ahhh. I feel 'relatively' normal today, after a week of constant nausea. Just allowed myself the small treat of a cuppa joe with some hot chocolate mixed in. Mmm. It's really the little things, these days.

While I am usually all for the mind over matter theory concerning most things, this particular 'thing' has taken over my whole being. The more I read about the changes that are happening (and the ones still to come) the more fascinated (and somewhat unprepared) I feel. But I trust my body completely to do what it needs to do, my major responsibility now being to fuel it and give it enough rest and relaxation.

Started my pre-natal yoga class last night, in a room full of hugely expanding bellies. I felt like a bit of an impostor as I probably won't even begin to start showing until 2-3 months from now (hopefully *after* our big day). But it was fun to look around and see all of these glowing women in different stages, there was a wonderful ~excuse the pun~ expectant energy in the room.

I also feel wonderfully expectant of what is to come.

Donnerstag, April 26, 2007

A wink and a smile

It's kind of strange to have our news 'half' out there. My Love's parents spend their winters down south in their motorhome, so we haven't yet had the opportunity to share their Grandparents-to-be status with them. I was greeted with the question "Sunday Lunch or Dinner?" upon my return home this evening as he propped the garage door open with one foot. "Dinner" I replied and gathered my various bags together which were strewn all over the front seat of the car. Ginger everything-I-could-find at the health food store- snaps, jam, ale. Plus my extra vitamins and oh so fashionable anti-nausea wristbands in dark grey. Also in tow, a bag full of clothing for the exchange on Saturday, a donation from a coworker.

Yes, another gathering of the Goddesses, and not a moment too soon. Need to send out an addendum to the invite "maternity clothes welcome". How my mom gigggled as she realized how futile it had been to mend my clothes, seeing as they won't be fitting me in a couple of months.

Progress on the Wedding front: a font and a willing (and so able) invitation designer at my disposal, a colour scheme chosen (periwinkle & navy blue), and phone calls put in to the caterer & photographer. We'll pull this all together, with style and grace. And a little life hiding under the empire waist.

Mittwoch, April 25, 2007

announcement announcement annOUNCEment!!

This is just too much good news for me to contain any longer. I have to share it with you, IIFs.

Sass is going to be a Mama!


I'm getting married too... SOON! 07/07/07

If you're interested in following the progress of the pregnancy, I have created a new blog for my baby here

Pure joy bliss and happiness all around.

Now to find a dress...

Montag, April 16, 2007

I'm in the mood

Your Mood Ring is Dark Red

Very happy

Peanut Butter Level 2

I don't know what my problem with Monday is. Or maybe it's Monday that has a problem with me.
Luckily, tomorrow is my Friday as I am in a course for the remainder of the week.
Divine timing is what I call that.
It is part 2 of a course I started last year.

The major descriptor I have heard again and again from past participants has been "intense".
Hey, I feel ready for it, why not?

You might not hear from me for while.
I'll just be over here, processing.

Freitag, April 13, 2007


I wonder how many calories I burned on my two hour (uphill) walk home yesterday?
I wonder why my nose bled twice today?
I wonder if we'll be able to figure out the new Mac we're getting next week (having always been PC people)
I wonder how many Goddesses are going to sign up for the spa party night?
I wonder how much of a refund I'm going to get on my taxes?
I wonder how my course is going to go next week and how much work I'll have to catch up on the week after?
I wonder why my period is three days late?
I wonder if I'll pass the motorcycle test this time?
I wonder what size of pants I'll be able to get into by track day?
I wonder if I'll be proposed to anytime soon?
I wonder why I care so much?

Wow. Now that's some food for thought.
Guten Appetit my sweet.

Mittwoch, April 11, 2007


Shades Take 2
Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

Your wish is my command, Sassy one!

Montag, April 09, 2007

Banff Riverside Sunshine

Banff Riverside Sunshine
Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

It's funny, you can't put a 'favourite' designation on your own photos in Flickr. I love this shot, and I loved this day, beginning to end.

Quite the adventure was had, with icy/slushy Canyons hiked, furry friends made and blossoming love ever growing, sprouting its green head through the quickly melting snowbanks.

Ah, love. And spring. And brand new sunglasses with which to peer out at the bright bright world.

Donnerstag, April 05, 2007

Spring Clean

I have found myself glued to the computer tonight, as my poor love sleeps off the whiff he got of my bad influence earlier...

I'm making good use of my time, browsing the addictiveness that is Facebook

Uploading a ton of cute pics of my Nephews while going through my "linked by blog" folder when I decided that I'm loooong overdue for a little spring cleaning around here.

Of course I'm too lazy (and sleepy) at this point to actually *add* these links to my sidebar just yet, but here is my update so far for your reading pleasure:

1. Over at Tucova's , an American woman living in the Czech Republic captivates me with her writing style

2. I really need to finally fix Brea #1's link:

3. I find a *New* Brea to add, may I introduce Brea (#2)

4. I plan to de-lurk on one I always read from B#1's links: Desperate Sarah

6. I remember to finally add one of the other Sassy Girls out there I have been lucky enough to stumble upon

7. I have to add an old fave, Dick & Chick

8. and a legend, for good measure

9. and one I believe will *become* a legend, Stella

Thank you ALL for inspiring me so much!

from Inspiration Peak to you

"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life - happiness, freedom and peace of mind - are always attained by giving them to someone else."

Peyton Conway March, 1864-1955
American Soldier

W E A R E L O V E M A C H I N E S .

Dienstag, April 03, 2007

my thoughts on Love

In response to an e-mail from a girlfriend yesterday, describing her anxieties about meeting up with and hopefully re-igniting an old flame "Love is super scary, hey? Yikes.":

"I believe it is a choice you make, like anything in life. You can approach the situation with Love or Fear. My advice would be to let go of any expectation. Just let things happen & unfold the way that the Universe wants them to. Think only positive, happy, joyful thoughts about your reunion and progression of your relationship with him. Love shouldn't have to be scary, or difficult. Your attitude towards it will greatly influence the outcome."

Sometimes I feel like I sound like a fortune cookie.

Freitag, März 30, 2007

Has anyone seen Robin?

I have barely lifted my nose from this grindstone in the past two weeks, I am surprised there is anything left of my poor sensitive schnautz!

It's been pretty much non stop here, which is exciting at the same time as exhausting- I'd like to incorporate more of a balance (and more trips to the gym) to save my sanity.

Spring is slowly showing signs of arrival, and not a moment too soon! I have motorcycles motorcycles motorcycles on my brain (when it's not full of work stuff) and I can't wait to wrap my legs around my SuZuZuki for the first time.

So much to look forward to- the first anniversary of our very first date, a baby shower, a stagette/rafting extravaganza weekend, there is a lot of celebration in the air.

Now to take some time and smell the flowers. Peace out.

Donnerstag, März 22, 2007

Websites are pretty

So THIS is what the world according to Sass looks like...

Make your own masterpiece here

Montag, März 19, 2007

sweet sweet sweet home

To be reunited with my love, my bed, my pillow, my butterfly ring.


I'm so very happy to be back to this place that makes so much sense to me.

Still sorting out the multitude of thoughts & experiences from the past 5 days but have been thrown back into work today full force... when my head stops spinning I'll get around to a summary (and some pics).

Donnerstag, März 15, 2007

The Center of the Universe

It's quite indescribable, this place.

I mean, even if I had a thousand words, it just wouldn't quite cover it.

It's more a place you have to discover on your own. On foot. By Taxi. With the subway. Get right in and mix with the people. Once you get with the flow (which took me about a day), you flow.

Out exploring last night, I stumbled across a team shooting a scene for the Sopranos in Little Italy. I quickly occupied the table on the street and watched the action close up.

More details to come...

Mittwoch, März 14, 2007

from en route yesterday...

I’m partway through the first leg of my first business trip ever, the connecting flight has been delayed by about 45 minutes and this double vodka soda with a splash of cranberry is going down a little *too* easy. I was up, as I expected to be, till a little after midnight last night as I made my last minute piles here and there. Carry-on stuff on the kitchen table (with frequent ‘helpful’ reminders from my Love ‘Got your passport? Your ticket??’), clothes etc piled up on the creamy couch in my meditation room.

Which hasn’t exactly been used for its intended purpose in awhile now, has it? Well, besides the 5 or 10 minutes Saturday morning, before I set out on my hair colour changing new wardrobe buying day. Yes, the mane is now somewhere between a deep red and ‘toffee’ brown, taking a little detour on its way back to my natural dirty blonde.

I was definitely in my giddy-excitedness phase last night, as I giggled my way around the house preparing for the week ahead. I have not gotten all that far in my preparedness, to be truthful, although I did manage to read through all 10 of the short descriptions of the different neighbourhoods of the City and have mentally short-listed the attractions I most want to see. There is some extra sight-seeing time to be had, and I intend to squeeze every drop of it out.

As for the actual shows, that will have to be left up to whatever catches my eye at the half price ticket place. I’m pretty open to whatever is playing- just the act of getting to go and see a show has my adrenalin pumping.

Am I prepared for the bustling busy-ness, the noise, the crowds, the EVERYTHING? The answer? Absolutely.

Sonntag, März 11, 2007

calm after the storm

... has been reached. Laundry sorted, house clean, walk taken, chili cooked and eaten. The Mama's back at her abode, settling in and setting up visits with friends. It's a good sign. I'm feeling quite settled myself, all systems go once I print my ticket, pack my bag and call the cab for the airport. I LOVE trips, just love them. Being away from my love until Sunday night (the day which marks 11 months of our blissed-out togetherness) will be challenging. But I am fully confident that the sweet reunion at the end will be well worth the time apart.

I've been waiting three whole years for this chance. To be a professional and go show them what I'm made of. I have the feeling I'm gonna absolutely dazzle them. And then some. Cause that, my friends, is how I roll. Hee. NY here I come!!!

Freitag, März 09, 2007

THIS is Friday?

I'm afraid to check my blood pressure cause I'm SURE it's off the charts.

It started with the chattering of the old biddies in the ladies only section of the gym. I don't know WHY exactly (I'm usually quite a tolerant person) but their endless nattering completely got on my nerves at 7 am. Then, the kitties, who got a tiny taste of the great outdoors yesterday when the door blew open while the Mama and I were on our daily jaunt around the block HAVE NOT STOPPED meowing since. My network connection with work is not happening, I already added bailey's to my coffee and that didn't help either.


It's later now, much later and I have somewhat regained my composure. Not without words being said in a *tone* that I wish I could take back. What was that about nerve cells being the only ones in the body that don't regenerate? What IS it about being around our parents (and PMSing in the WORST way) that regresses our behaviour by 15 years???

Fish. The answer is fish. Preferably raw.

Dienstag, März 06, 2007

signs of life

The days are marching on (pun? intended), the healing progressing, as is my ability to function in my home office atmosphere. It's still a little strange to roll out of bed and log on 5 minutes later (in fact, I'm STILL in my snowman pyjama pants).

It wasn't till halfway through the morning that I realized that today is my best friend's birthday. Thank goodness for e-cards because I have shamefully 'misplaced' the area of my brain which has stored her phone number for the past 10 or 15 years. Oh my.

Have I even mentioned that I'm going to NY next week? Like, a week from today I will be on a plane!! Wow. Probably cause it hasn't fully sunk in for me yet. Anyway, my company will be putting me up for four nights but I'm on my own for the fifth. Anyone have any *inexpensive* suggestions for where to lay my weary head? I'm attending an event at the NYC Center for Architecture that day, so somewhere relatively close would be good...

Freitag, März 02, 2007

I'm here

But I feel kinda weird. Disjointed, I think, is the best way to describe it. Other than the fact that it's almost 5pm and I'm sitting here in my dressing gown... Started the 'working from home' experiment today and I must say it has gone pretty well. Juggling the customer phone calls with the ones from friends and family for the Mama, administering pain medication and answering the door for the flower delivery. Negotiating sales between keeping the fireplace going and serving soup, juice and toast. Whew! No wonder this multitasking Goddess hasn't changed out of her pj's yet.

I think I'll call it a day soon. More of this fun next week!

Mittwoch, Februar 28, 2007

the truth

Prints available for order here

I'm a pearl on a leaf

It's been a blur of hospital walls and the slick road home for the past week. The Mama's surgery is done, and she is taking the first baby steps towards recovery. Seeing as she may be released today, I have stayed home this morning to prepare for her arrival. It is my mission (and I have chosen to accept it) to house and care for her for the next little while.

The biggest challenge, I suspect, will be to keep her occupied and prevent her from doing any activity that is going to strain her. That's a tall order for a woman who is bored sitting still for any amount of time. I bought the biggest crossword puzzle book I could find and have recorded a bunch of shows for her to watch... but I have the feeling they'll both get old really quick. Ideas, anyone?

Montag, Februar 19, 2007

unmentionable mentionables

I'm struggling, iifs.

I'm struggling with telling you stuff, opening up, letting out my innermost thoughts and secrets.

I don't know what I'm afraid will happen.

I mean, what do you care if I tell you I took a two hour lunch break and had two raspberry stolis and sodas with a girlfriend whose life has been recently turned upside down?

Who are you going to tell if I let it slip that my good friend the treat provider finally returned my call after a month and a half to let me know he has left the province, but was so kind as to leave the number for a replacement?

That the gift I gave my love to celebrate our 10 months of blessed togetherness was actually recycled from my Christmas stocking of two years ago? (Plus a genuine list of top 10 things I love about him).

That the 19 dollars left in my bank account before I went and withdrew another 50 to pay for our alchohol-laden lunch are all I had left?


I feel curiously better now. Thank you, that is all.

Donnerstag, Februar 15, 2007

HNT Puppy Love

Abby Sass
Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

Mom's border collie, Abby is getting older. She still plays around with her little 'sister', Phyllis (a toy poodle) occasionally though. She gives good hugs, too!

Mittwoch, Februar 14, 2007

Love Day

Might be the best ever...

Got some anonymous Valentines from office mates today, my fav:

Sweet & Sassy

Fun & Nice

Happy & Caring

Warm & Slightly crazy!

Yeah, I'd say that pretty much describes me.

Oh, and these (cause I'm spoiled rotten):

Baby, YOU'RE the best thing that has ever happened to ME, and I fall more in love with YOU each day.

/end gush

Happy Love Day, everyone!

Make it last all year.

Dienstag, Februar 13, 2007

Everything/Alles was ist

Alternate title:

A Princess needs a Throne (but not a Tiara)
Like a Dog needs a Bone
~I need your love~

***A Valentine's Tribute to the Force that Moves Me***

Love is never fearful or scared
The quickening hearbeat exclusively due to the sweet anticipation of
a kiss
a glance
oh! an embrace

Love IS
It breathes
It flows
It is sheer joy
Pure Soul.

It's baking sheets
and coloured jars

It's shiny beautiful matching rides

It's high
It's low

It's that soft place to land
It always follows through

It's folding
It's teasing
It's both being a player
and being played

It's strong and it's tough
Made of indestructable stuff

It's Right and It's Hot
it softens the jaw

It's Bubbles and Waves
The Cycle of the Moon
Stars of course Stars

It's Freedom and Safety
rolled into One
Comfort, Wisdom and Grace


It's giving and giving and giving some more
Whilst your cup overflows with continuous joy

In the wee small hours
I know that It's there

When Fingers get chopped
And the Well it runs dry
When the bumps and lumps of life's journey
Leave you downtrodden,
thirsty, disheveled or bruised

Love wraps you up and guides you through

Yes, Love is the Force that moves me
Share! Shine! Glow!

And I realize it's for her

Love is all around me.

There are two framed black and white pictures positioned on either side of my desk, one of each set of Grandparents. Oma Elisabeth and Opa A perched on the front bumper of a shiny VW Bettle, she with humid bangs curling up on her forehead, smiling shyly as he grins adoringly, and leans closer on my right.

George and Peggy B on the left, sitting back on the rocks. She leaning back onto him with her Rockette legs crossed daintily and the *perfect* pair of shoes on.

I realize fully that with her, I've lost the last remaining Grandparent.

So I bring the recently recovered, recently donated (by my love's gracious Ma & Pa) antique chair into my lair, and the poem begins...

Montag, Februar 12, 2007

sass at 22

sass at 22
Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

This is the photo that I brought my hairdresser early on Sat morning.

"I've decided to go back to my natural colour" I proclaim.

He shows me this shade of brown and I shake my head side to side. "But I've NEVER been a brunette!" I protest.

So he threw in some blonde to the mix and I ended up quite...



Sonntag, Februar 04, 2007

Watch out, here she comes!

I flip over the 'bad cat' calendar that we have pinned up next to the computer (oh, how I *love* doing that!) and find a picture of a kitty with huge heart shaped sunglasses and a pink Feather boa on with the caption

"I used to be a bit of an introvert, but I got over it"

and I smile to myself, as this is so appropriate for this moment.

I've just come home from a workshop and a quick visit with the fam to collect my little plant slips that have been living on my sister's window sill since I moved out in October. Wow, it's been five months already, how it does fly by when life is so blissful.

The workshop was put on by Aman, the man behind the yes, you can change the world website and book, and my mind is busy processing the information I learned and thinking of how I will apply it to my daily life.

I embarked on this spiritual quest quite early on, dabbling in all kinds of positive thinking books, groups and activities. Meditation has become more and more of a regular part of my routine, especialy now that I have my very own space to practice.

The different cleanses I have done are also a part of the journey, a 'purification' of sorts of body as well as mind. It is all connected (as is the state of my room) to how balanced and at peace I feel with the world and my surroundings.

One of the messages of today that has stuck with me is the idea of being "authentically optimistic" as opposed to simply thinking positively. Being absolutely authentic, true to yourself, embracing your weaknesses while your strengths naturally grow and shine. This insight struck a chord in me and has led to some rather deep soul searching since leaving the centre this afternoon.

I seem to do the best enlightened navel gazing whilst lounging in my comfy clothes (in this case a sports bra, my fuzzy v-neck sweater, fleece pj pants and my brand new faux-lambswool flip flops), drinking gin & juice, munching on jelly bellies and listening to internet radio. Giving myself permission to just BE, and just be ME.

The fish awaits a-fryin', the pictures await a-framin', my love will await his back scratchin' but not now. Now is time be alone and peaceful with my thoughts, my dreams and my own bad *newly discovered* extroverted self.

Bring it OUT!

Donnerstag, Februar 01, 2007

HNT Pampered

Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

The latest Goddess party was a total success.... we may have to make it an annual- no, make that semi-annual event. The fact that we don't have that much furniture in the house made it much easier for the spa ladies to set up the 9 stations for manicures, pedicures, facials and hot stone treatments. HIGHLY recommended to melt away stress. Ahhhhh. Bliss.

Freitag, Januar 26, 2007

lean on me

The Goddesses are gathering tonight, and I am so glad.

I could really use some of their support, some of their strength to lean on.

It has been a tough couple of weeks for my family, with my mom's diagnosis and then my grandma passing away on Monday. She was a beautiful, independant woman, and I will miss her.

Tonight, we have invited some pampering queens into the nest, and we will relax, enjoy each others company as our fingers, toes and faces get all pretty. Well, prettier than they already are.

The timing couldn't be better.

Montag, Januar 22, 2007

N is for nausea

Which is how I'm feeling this morning. Not really sure what could be causing it other than missing my high blood pressure pill yesterday... I have been on another cleanse of sorts, cutting out sugar and wheat and most things processed. The first week went great, until it was interrupted by the overindulgence that was Vegas. Back at it on Tuesday, but the cravings returned tenfold. I think I've got them back under control for now and am shifting my focus to working out (now that I'm done with physio on my calves) and mmm protein shakes. My acupuncturist is trying out B12 shots to increase my metabolism and I am all for being a guinea pig. My energy is definitely UP, I just have to get myself to the gym and start sweating!

The daffodils I picked up at the supermarket yesterday are all in bloom and smiling happily at me beside the orchids next to my desk. They smell nice and spring-like even if we do have about three months to go till it actually hits outside. And if I keep going at this plan, I'll have the body to match! Better get bzz bzz busy.

Donnerstag, Januar 18, 2007

hnt socks

Not much Nekkidness this week, in fact I'm fully dressed and then some (it's bloody COLD here, -25 C/-14 F). This was taken Christmas day, as I celebrated for the first time with my love's family. Their rule is $10 and under for presents, and it has to be something useful. I *heart* my new socks, thanks Tita Laura!

Dienstag, Januar 16, 2007

Vegas Baby

Back from the surprise
(of her life)
Back from the opulence
bling bling bling
Back from the overindulgence
buffet anyone?
Back from the trips
shopping that is
Back and it's still cold
Back to my Love
waiting between the sheets
Back but so glad I went
there was NO other place to be
Back to the cleanse
hello cravings
Back and it continues

Life on all its wonderful levels

Donnerstag, Januar 11, 2007

The Original Goddess

It has been really difficult for me to write lately. On Monday night, we found out that my mom has been diagnosed with Cancer. There are so many feelings hitting me now- shock, anger, fear, disbelief and back again. But still there is the deep knowing that she is a strong, positive being and she will get through this.
She is currently on a trip to Vegas that was planned with her friend for their birthdays (hers is today, Happy Bday, Mom!) before she got the diagnosis. She decided to go anyway, and as soon as my sister and I received the news our first thoughts were 'we have to go down there too'. So we're booked on a flight tomorrow night and we are going to surprise her! (Luckily she doesn't know about this blog, or what a blog is for that matter, so I'm pretty safe sharing my secret with you, IIFs).

Please send your most positive thoughts for a sucessful treatment and speedy recovery for her. Thank you.

Freitag, Januar 05, 2007


Originally uploaded by ssygrl.
I've just returned from a concert at my place of worship. It was a busy and exhausting week, and it was a nice way to end it, listening to our resident vocalist Amy and her visiting brothers (who just happen to sing opera) put on a show together.

Their encore was 'Closer To Fine' and as I sat and sang along I felt very moved, as I often to in that sanctuary. Time has been on my mind a lot lately, how it seems to vanish through our fingertips like fine sand. A strong gust of wind and this week is gone.

It's quiet here in the house tonight, my love is spending time with friends 'geeking out' as he jokingly (or maybe not so jokingly) put it. I sit here with my Christmas Eve tea (an interesting mix of spearmint, orange peel, clove, cinnamon and vanilla), uploading pictures ironically from Christmas Eve this year, pondering the memories we made seemingly in a flash that night.

There is a peaceful loving calm inside my heart, the kind that comes from a dose of meditation, the acupuncture needle placed on my third eye at noon, the deep knowing that with each passing day, I AM closer to fine.

Mittwoch, Januar 03, 2007

New Randomness

Thanks, K!

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Get an invisible friend.

Get your resolution here.

I love it.

Dienstag, Januar 02, 2007

Direct. To the point.

Greetings and Salutations for the New Year! Hmmm 2007... what deliciously delectable trouble can I get into first?

The last 9 days of the year were absolutely full to overflowing with culinary overindulgences, Quality Family Time, and a new addiction: the Kieferness that is 24. I'm 11 episodes into the first season and totally hooked... if it weren't for sleeping and this job thing, I'd be watching non stop. Crazy I tell you.

There are few things I heart more than that start to a new year. I have a burst of energy and creativeness that begins with the opening of a new calendar (and a new pack of crayola markers) and am busily planning not only our housewarming but also the first Goddess gathering of 2007.

If you are in or around Cowtown and interested in either, drop me a line!

Oh, and a thought to ponder for y'all:

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game It's easy. There's nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. There's nothing you can know that isn't known. Nothing you can see that isn't shown. Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. All you need is love (all together now)All you need is love (everybody) All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Let that be stuck in your head, the whole year through.