save the sorrow for tomorrow

I’m feeling a little tipsy. Not such a good thing at 11 am on a workday. Maybe the gintonic/champagne/wine/tripleamaretto from the Englishman’s birthday party last night is just hitting me now… I’m kind of altogether a mess today, no makeup, my eyes red and sore from crying, the roof of my mouth burnt from the eggnog latte I had as breakfast. It has been an emotionally charged day already, from cramming myself into the crowded CTrain car to being told I have to pay my speeding tickets NOW to the wind and the rain that pelted me as I crossed the 14th street bridge, late for work. I have finally swallowed the pride that was holding me back from asking for help. The reality of the red numbers has forced me to rely on the kindness of others right now. What was that my therapist was saying about working on receiving? She’s absolutely right, and my time is way overdue. I gave so much I ended up completely empty. So I’ll continue to hold my head high, graciously accept the generosity of dear friends, and work on my plan of how to repay them. I see a whole lot of catering shifts in my near future. Fine by me, I love people watching at Christmas parties. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!