Last night just before I fell asleep I had a disorientating sensation.
I was perched on a diving board high above a large deep pool.
I could not see the bottom.
My breathing, which had been nice and regular since yoga class earlier that evening became laboured and shallow.
I wanted to curl up in a little ball and sink into the mattress.
I felt the hot tears rolling down my cheeks in the darkness.
Then all at once a feeling of calm washed over me.
I realized, I am not afraid. Of the impact, or whatever this pool may hold. I am old enough, I am strong enough.
I have the tools, the experience, the knowledge, the knowing.
What I bring to this union can only result in success.
And never ending happiness.
And so it is, and so it shall be.