~news flash~

I just signed up for a motorcycle course in October.

Gulp.

Carry on and Happy Friday!

Wounded girl

Poor, poor Jules. She’s pretty badly banged up- well the front left side of her anyways. I had a car accident yesterday morning, driving between the pool and work. I’m okay, the other driver is okay, his damages minimal and fully covered by my insurance. I’m left with my head still spinning, disturbed by his brisk and arrogant attitude “these things are always such a pain”. I had never been in a ‘live’ collision before (my last two incidences involved parked cars) and was visibly shaking as he copied my information down and gave me his. I’m angry that I let him intimidate me in that way, and that I believed him when he said we didn’t need to call the police and insisted that my car was fine to drive (it wasn’t, but I managed to get it from there to my boyfriends house about 10 blocks away without further incident).

The rest of the day was a blur, from phoning in to work bawling with the cat holding my hand (so very sweet), swinging by my lovely chirowoman to bring me down a couple dozen levels, to the nice lady at the insurance place reassuring me that it was all going to be fine, to renting the car and filing the police report, lunch, and some retail therapy. Funny how a stressful situation evokes the urge to do three things: eat, shop and drink. Which we did, when all was said and done, and toasted to our fourth monthiversary. Finally able to smile and think to ourselves one day we’ll look back to this day and think what an extraordinarily unusual way to spend it it was.

Lioness

Ladies night at the Crack. Not a chance! I declare. But its Butt’s birthday, had to be there. She made such a big deal out of mine last year. The bouncer looks at my ID. I’m old, I say, too old to be here. No! He laughs, c’mon in. The curtain is up; the hounds are separated, for now. The music blares (just wait, it gets louder every song!). The enthusiastic males are up skipping and strutting around. I marvel about where they get their energy. The one dressed like a policeman makes me laugh. Then there’s the pilot guy with the Top Gun shades. Do they really think this is what women want to see? A couple of the girls slip bills into their g strings and get an abbreviated lap dance, more like a slither up and down their bodies. Um, yuck. I see a girl with a tattoo of an anchor between her shoulder blades and want to ask her why she got it. Humongous green and blue polka dotted beach balls hang from the ceiling by fishing wire and I wonder how I can get one down and take it home. We take a few trips to the parking lot, one so I can give the birthday girl her present- a large gift bag filled with gluten-free goodies. She jumps up and down and hugs me, and I’m glad I’ve made her happy. We dance a few times, but then the music gets thrashier and I go sit at the table alone. Big mistake. I’m immediately approached by a man 15 or 20 years older than myself. It’s his first time here he says with a slight accent. Your ears will hurt tomorrow I reply and slink away. Soon after I make my escape, bidding goodnight to my sweet girls. She gives me another great big hug. I love you. I embrace the words and hold them close to my heart. My dreadlocked lil sis-like being is off to new adventures in Kiwi land in a couple of months and I’ll miss her. Despite the difference in our ages and preferences in places to frequent, we always have a fun time together. And usually, if we’re paying attention, a lesson to be learned.

change

Horoscope for today:

“This continues to be a time of transition with jobs and residences as you swing through changes and fluctuating events. Since you like variety, there’s kind of a certain appeal to this kind of flexibility; and a curious allure about where it will all end up.”

How completely accurate. Not only has my role recently changed at work, but I was interviewed for the international department as well (which would involve stints out of our Berlin office). My other job IS changing residences on a regular basis as a house sitter. I DO enjoy change, and embrace the chaos that is my life. Where it will end up? Well, I believe very deeply in the power of manifestation, as discussed at the mini Goddess gathering yesterday evening. So I decided that my next house sit will have a trampoline AND a hot tub, and my stay in Germany will involve a couple of trips to trade shows in Spain and other exciting European locales. And so it is.

Happy Weekend!

when worlds collide

Sass “So what do you think of taking my mom with us when we go raspberry picking at your parents this weekend?”

Mano “Ummm, well…”

Sass “Don’t you think it may help them to understand me better?”

Mano “Absolutely!”

grind.stone.

Oh, am I ever a grumpy back-to-work person today, on a Monday of all days. I should really have four walls on this cubicle of mine, extending to the ceiling. It took me most of the day to get through my 260-some emails that had clogged up my inbox, and my neck, hips and other parts are sore sore sore from reassuming the desk position. I had a restless sleep last night dreaming of being late due to traffic/work camp woes. Oh, and I missed the last two acts of the Folk Fest cause of some extreme weather and unpreparedness. Yes, I’m a big fat whiner. Good thing I get to go kick some (soccer) balls around tonight, that should get most of this out of my system. Let’s focus on the positive now, shall we?
- my raise showed up on this paycheque
- lunch with my two homegirls with a walk along the river
- I'm done in 7 minutes
- wow, that’s all I can think of

back

and struggling to find *anything* good about it.

My honey sweetly reminds me that it's just the re-adjustment period, that grass-is-greener state of mind that happens when you come back from somewhere so beautifully and magically removed from your own reality. I could definitely live there, and have a deep knowling feeling that I will end up residing there, sooner or later, part or full time. Letting go and letting spirit take care of that one.

Finding it a little bizarre that part of what's helping me re-climatize to my metropolitan surroundings is hopping on the computer, having a look-see at what's happening in this virtual web we weave. I've been 'unplugged' for the past 10 or so days, except the last entry from the b & b (read = safe haven) in Tofino and one quick Starbucks hot spot (using my 'toy' for the first time to surf) to find it.

I've had the most outstanding and amazing vacation time, from start to finish. And I've got a whole *entire* day left, to go be Folksie with the Mama...

... just checked the schedule, I get to see both Matthew Good & Ani DiFranco on the mainstage!

Okay, okay, maybe one or two good things about this re-citifying thing.

p.s. sorry I missed you in Van, Miss Razz! Next time for sure.

The Wild West Coast

Quick update from my holiday... it has been a blissful time of sun and sand and surf and I am loving every moment. Feeling so very very rich in so many ways, hugging trees and collecting pretty pebbles on the beach. I feel so alive in the salty air, holding hands with my love and strolling along the shore. Back next week with pics :)

thought of the day

"There are people who have money and people who are rich."

- Coco Chanel

Mary Mary quite contrary...

There’s something about finishing a house sit that’s not unlike checking out of a hotel. Except that you are your own chambermaid.

And gardener. The month long growth was a bit much to tackle with the manual machine I found in the tiny 1912 home-made-with–crates garage out back. Turned out to be a great workout, as I swatted at the mosquitoes (just ran out of my bug spray at the last soccer game) on my legs and wiped my brow of the sweat that quickly gathered. Ok, so it looked like a really bad haircut, but it got done.

Shhh, don’t tell anyone but I DO enjoy cleaning, and got really involved in the ‘tidying’ of the indoor garden as well, scoring myself 4 little ‘slips’ which will hopefully grow some roots for me to plant. I don’t have a green thumb by any stretch of the imagination, but I found myself innately nurturing these little green shoots, thinking of how nice it would be to have my own little collection. What’s that they say about starting with a plant, moving on to a pet…

HNT Sassy Stampeeding... Latin style

Sass inside
Originally uploaded by ssygrl.

Finally, I'm back in the swing of Nekkidness!!! Missed y'all.

I'm liking brown these days, and the plunge of the neckline. I'm liking alot of things these days, you can't wipe that smile off my face if you tried.

Happy Summer Nekkidness!

The Key to it is

I came back to the here and how and have been enJOYing it immensely…

There has been sushi, soccer, being a squeaky wheel, celebrating 3 months, singing cowboy songs and eating wings in a country saloon, watching Johnny Depp wielding a sword… and let’s not forget

JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE !!!

Oh yeah, and I got the s’more one taken care of last week. Mmm s’mores.

Now I’m off to do some little donut eating, Cowboy ‘observing’ and trying not to flinch when the little calves get roped. Yee Haw!

I am

still here.

Although I feel somewhat like a space cadet today. My various aches and pains from serving all weekend are making me question whether it was worth the effort. One more show and I’m done for the season, maybe for good. At least the rain waited until the very end of the tournament, but then showed up with reckless abandon and a hurricane warning, knocking over the vase of flowers from the bar. I still brought them home to Ma, along with some leftovers which she practically jumped for joy at.

Three full days and three half days of work left and I’ll be off on my island adventure, with a stop in wine country for ‘supplies’. Booked myself in for a massage with the bride et al at the Empress for the day before her big day.

Not much of an entry, I’m stuck in the future and fun to come instead of the now. Better come back down to earth for awhile.

The letter H

Hotels I have worked in
Honey I call my love
Hungry for some free time
to Hang out away from here
Hardly just beginning
Humming a Happy tune
Harmony in all things

Hugely indebted to you




want a letter? leave a comment!

10 things I want to do this summer

- run through the sprinkler check! on my bike on the way to work this morning

- make s'mores

- wish on a shooting star

- pack a picnic and go paint the Monet-like bridge on Princes Island

- slow dance barefoot in the moonlight

- eat fruit fresh off a tree in the Okanogan

- dip my toes in the Pacific ocean

- jump on *someone elses* trampoline

- take my nephews to the Zoo booked! For July 4th, a surprise day off

- use up all my bubble juice

mountain goats and motorbikes

I’m sitting in a sunny spot on my yoga mat at the joining of two creeks, which run between two rocky bluffs. I have a little picnic, my meditation book, my journal and my thoughts. Perched atop one of the bluffs, directly in my line of sight, is a mountain goat. She’s been standing there for quite some time, staring down at me. On my way up the path on my search for a quiet spot, a couple of small rocks clattered down in front of me from above. Looking up, I see the inquisitive face of another goat, a young one (his antlers a couple of inches long). Left of him stood another, younger one, his antlers just little nubs.

I believe in the Native American tradition that every one of us has an animal spirit guide, and I have the feeling that mine has just been revealed to me. It makes sense, when I think about it- high energy, agile, curious, quick on their feet survivalists. Sounds very familiar. I had a deep knowing that spirit would lead me here this afternoon, to this very spot next to this creek, nestled at the back of K Country. The result of a decision made yesterday at the funeral for my colleague who passed away in a motorcycle accident earlier this week.

My boyfriend (who also knew my colleague through mutual motorcycling friends) and I had been planning to head out of town, direction west right after the service. The car was packed and ready to go. But then he learned of the ride that was going to take place as a memorial to Wade, past the place on the road where the accident occurred. It was clear to me by the look in his eyes that he needed to be a part of it. And as fast as you can say ‘plans change’, we were off, me to pick Jules up to make my solo journey and he to get his bike and meet up with the boys.

After a brief re-pack, car wash, and phone call to my massage therapist and hostess extraordinaire, I made my way out of town. My mind was heavy sorting the events of the day so far, sifting through and trying to make sense the emotionally charged days leading up to now. At the exact moment that I slow down to stop at the last set of lights on the west edge of the city, I think ‘wouldn’t it be amazing to see the guys ride by’, I turn my head to the right and six or seven striking racing bikes come into view. They merge in a solemn procession onto the highway and my light turns green.

It feels as though the oxygen has suddenly been sucked out of my lungs and my whole leg trembles as I press my right foot down on the accelerator. I watch in this breathless, quivering state as they glide along the curves and dips of the road, and take the Old Banff Coach Road exit in beautiful unison. I pass directly under the overpass as they cross above it, and in a burst of emotion I lay on the horn and give a wave out the sunroof.

It was a moving and fitting tribute to a man who lived his life passionately, expertly and without compromise or regret.

As his best friend recounted, his body hunched over the podium in the packed memorial hall, his voice cracking with emotion, Wade wouldn’t have wanted any of us not to live our lives to the absolute fullest, squeezing every drop of enjoyment out of it, leaping at every challenge or opportunity that presented itself. Honouring and being true to our authentic selves.

This in mind, I continue my drive out to the Rockies, enjoying the smooth, powerful German engineering of my Jules, awestruck by the awesome panoramic views of the mountains unfolding in front of me. I drink in the intoxicating beauty of the gentle giants that are slowly enveloping us and am again overcome with emotion and deep knowing that the universe is indeed perfect.

I spend the next 24 hours cradled in their omnipotent magnificence. “It’s much easier to be closer to God out here, isn’t it?” I remark to my rejuvenator hostess (also longtime friend and massage therapist) and she nods and smiles in return.

A soak in the springs followed by a massage and a steam. Sharing a good meal with an excellent BC gewürztraminer with her on a perfect summer’s eve. Singing along to my music as I glide up and down the twisty roads between my old friends, sharing the journey with other happy campers and motorcyclists.

It’s in these moments that I feel that I am fully alive. Sensing which muscles are being used to steady my wobbly legs on my first rollerblade of the season. Dipping my toes in the icy stream. Sipping a soy chai as I lounge in the sun basked window seat at the coffee shop while I alternately take in the view and flip through the local weekly paper.

On the second or third page I notice an article about a memorial service for a local woman who had gone missing while out hiking. It included quotes from people who were close to her, describing her with words like sparkly and bouncing. It seemed she had an unquenchable zest for life that just bubbled out of her, a joyful, unstoppable energy.

Although it is beyond sad that we have lost these people at such a young age, it seems that their passing is serving to remind us that it is our duty to live fully and consciously, EVERY DAY, during our precious and sometimes brief time here.

The creek continues to gurgle and wind past me and a butterfly flutters by. It is a spectacularly beautiful day in this corner of the earth, and I count my blessings, gather my things and head off to spend the remains of it with one that I love.

*addendum* the mountains called once again later that same afternoon. And I answered, riding on the back of the bike, holding on tight with breathless delight. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

Rest in peace, sweet Prince

We lost a colleague and a friend two days ago in a motorcycle accident.

They said in the bereavement stuff that was sent around by HR that it's good to talk and write about it, but words are failing me. We will gather this afternoon to grieve and console one another.

All I had to say has already been expressed quite eloquently here. Thanks, Issa.

set·tle (verb): to make or become resident

“Does it bother you to have to pack up your stuff and move around all the time?” asked the mango giver, as she helped me lug my belongings from Jules into the new sit yesterday.

“No, not really” I replied, “it’s only every couple of weeks, and I get to settle in to this one for a whole month”.

Settling in usually takes me about two hours, or one and a half in a pinch. I’m not a light traveler, by any stretch of the imagination. As I gathered my piles of possessions together the day before, they took up the complete surface of the three seater couch. At least two big bags of clothes, 9 pair of shoes (shush), kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, some books and odds and ends. I really don’t consider myself to be a materialistic person. The only two things I was yearning for last night after unpacking were my inflatable bath pillow and Bob (my beloved lime green electric kettle from Amsterdam).

I put my tea, vitamins, pb and rice cakes in the cupboard, the soy milk and yoghurt in the fridge, my 10 items (and a couple few more) in the bathroom, my shoes by the door and the rest in my ‘new’ room. I’ve brought my own bedding (to make it a no-feather zone) and after my bath I happily snuggle into the soft flannel sheets. I’m officially settled. For the next 27 days.

milestones

It has taken me till halfway through this morning (and that extra 45 minutes of sleep) to fully recover from the weekend workin' the vip lounge alongside the jumping ring. I had forgotten how hard it is on the feet to sling drinks all day. Yesterday was kind of a blur, but I did manage to get my (somewhat cheesy, I'll admit) photoshop assignment done by quarter past twelve. That's my mom, and her parents, magically hanging out on the beach I visited in the Dominican in January:



Tonight is my first free evening in I can't even remember how long, and I'm looking forward to sifting through the stack of newspapers that have accumulated over the past week and a half and generally taking it very easy. I mostly only read the entertainment, travel and lifestyle sections, although I have been glancing through the careers lately as well.

Reading though a few of my entries here from a year ago, I realized just how far I have come and have paused to give myself some credit. I have put a lot of positive changes into place, and I feel like my life is flowing with much more joy, ease and grace these days. That dragon called depression has sulked back to his cave, and I don't predict his return anytime soon. In fact, I've cemented in the boulder blocking the entrance, so just let him try!

fun with the alphabet

Accent: Since most of my customers are American, I do get called on my Canadian accent when I use words like ‘about’. One of the best compliments for me is when people tell me I have no accent when speaking German.

Booze: Yes, please! I had to acquire a taste for both beer and wine, but my love for Vodka (tall, with soda, cran and a lime wedge) came to me naturally.

Chore I Hate: Hate is a very strong word now, isn’t it? I dislike vacuuming. I hope to have mostly hardwood floors if I ever have a house, as I much prefer cleaning those (in fact, I have a rather abnormal fondness for it, just ask my sis)

Dogs/Cats: both. I recently ‘got over’ a cat allergy, actually. I was getting more and more house sits with felines, so I had no choice. Antihistamines make me loopy. Mind over matter!

Essential electronics: Besides the brand spankin’ new PDA I received as a b-day gift? (I know I’m spoiled). I think once my music is uploaded onto it, I’ll be all set!

Favorite perfume/cologne: After sampling several thousand different ones every time I go through a drug store, I finally broke down and purchased a set of mini Alfred Sung ones: Shi (blue & purple), Jewel and Sung.

Gold/Silver: Definitely Silver. Or platinum. Or white gold. As long as there is a honkin’ diamond attached. Just kidding.

Hometown: I would consider t to be Calgary… Spent age 5-18 here, and 27-now (excluding a little shy of a blissful year spent in the Yoho Valley)

Insomnia: not very frequently

Job Title: which one? I like ‘housesitter extrordinaire’ , but I’m also an account executive and a catering server/bartender

Kids: someday… tick tick tick (hey, can you hear that?)

Living Arrangements: this is an interesting one! I’ve had 9 different sits this year so far. I’m like a turtle/gypsy, transporting most of my stuff from place to place in my car, Jules. Officially, I rent my sister’s basement suite, but am rarely to never there.

Most Admired Trait: people comment that I am genuine and kind hearted.

Overnight Hospital Stays: nope

Phobias: deep water that I can’t see the bottom of. Boats.

Quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the World” -Gandhi

Religion: I go to the Center for Positive Living

Siblings: 2 brothers, 2 sistas. Brothers are both in Ontario, my sisters are here.

Time I usually wake up: lately just before 7.

Unusual talent: tying cherry stems in knots with my teeth and many more

Vegetable I refuse to eat: can’t think of any!

Worst habit: procrastination. It took me 4 days to write this!

X-rays: for my teeth a couple of times. Try to avoid ‘em.

Yummy foods I make: I make a mean guacamole!

Zodiac Sign: Twins. And I’m Wood Tiger